Last Friday I was asked to give a short presentation at the induction event for the new intake of research students. As usual, I started with a self-deprecating joke about a PhD. That’s when it struck me that I do have quite a collection of such jokes.
- Grad student etiquette (PHD Comics, 27 February 1998)
- “I would like to thank my family and friends outside academia for continually resisting the urge to tell me to “get a proper job”.” (Andrew Chadwick, Internet Politics, 2006: xiii, Acknowledgements)
- “Occupation: Student/Retired” (photographed in 2007)
- A professorial room (photographed in 2007)
- “Not the kind who helps people” (Professor Randy Pausch’s last lecture, 18 September 2007)
- “Not the kind with access to drugs” (The Big Bang Theory S04E19)
- “The other three can all feed a family of four.” (Reposted from IFLS, 20 September 2013)
- “The PhD student is someone who foregoes current income in order to forego future income.” (Anonymous, The Guardian, 30 August 2013)
- RT @DrAntithesis A doctoral student walks into a bar. Bartender asks, “Draft?” Student replies, “I’ll have one by the end of the month.” (12 January 2014)
- “But interestingly, I have no common sense whatsoever.” (Dilbert, 27 August 2003)
- RT @aimsinpeng At a tech startup talk. This is what they say about working w academics […] (25 March 2015)
- RT @ianvisits The British Library, full of wise clever people who read a lot — but need to be warned about steps. A lot. (21 February 2014)
- “The only people who will ever read your thesis (besides you) will be your supervisor, the examiners and your mum. And she will just say she read it.” (Australian Open Access Support Group, 10 April 2013) * Compiler’s note: The version that we shared had a one additional detail – that the examiners will read it on the train to Egham!
- “With a little practice, writing can be an intimidating and impenetrable fog!” (Calvin and Hobbes, 14 February 2013)
- “It’s amazing how many super villains have advanced degrees.” (The Big Bang Theory S02E02)
- “Dr. Acula” (Scrubs S05E06)
- “Yes, there is a doctor on board” (Juliet Lapidos, The New Yorker, 16 May 2016)
- RT @Lollardfish Me: Mom, are you proud of me?
Her: Your sister is dating a doctor.
Me: I’m a doctor.
Her: You have a PhD in history. Don’t brag, David. (7 October 2017)
- “Bart, don’t make fun of grad students. They just made a terrible life choice.” (The Simpsons)